October 14, 2018, 6:00 AM

"Torn" Session 5: Chapters 7&8

Torn Chapters 7&8



            In chapter 7 Lee explores the prospect of being alone.  He questions whether being gay means he is destined to spend his entire life without a sexual relationship, and more particularly, without a loving romantic relationship.  He highlights God’s statement in Genesis, that “it is not good that the man should be alone” and points out that, for most people, a loving, romantic relationship represents the single most important factor in our lives after God.  While there are those who are wired to be alone, most of us are not.  For a far majority of people being single is a burden rather than a blessing.  He is adamant that he does not want to be alone.  He doesn’t want to face life alone.  He doesn’t want to face aging and the end of life alone.  He recognizes that, as a gay man, a marriage relationship with a woman would be a sham.  It would be unfair to both him and his wife.  He looks briefly to scripture and admits that while the bible condemns same sex acts, he still struggles with how to live as a gay person.  Does being gay disqualify him from a romantic loving relationship?

            In chapter 8 Lee makes reference to an episode of South Park to highlight what he sees as the church’s message to him and to those who identify as gay: “Don’t be gay.”  After revealing his sexuality to his pastor, he is told he will continue to be welcome at the church as long as he in not in a relationship.  He is banned from his favorite Christian chat room when one of the moderators somehow finds out he is gay.  He begins attending a Campus Christian Fellowship group at his college.  He is troubled by one of the speakers who has been invited to speak on “Homosexuality: Combining Compassion and Truth.”  The speaker was a proponent of “ex-gay” therapy.  The speakers stance was that homosexuality was a choice and inherently sinful.  Lee attempts to talk to the leaders of the CCF group to voice his concerns.  This does not go well.  The leadership reiterates to Lee, that they consider homosexuality to be sinful.  He is told he is allowed to continue to be part of the group as long as he leaves his “agenda” out of it.  Lee doesn't feel like he has an “agenda,” but the message of rejection of who he is is clear.


Quotes of note:

            “To go without sex was one things, but to go without romance and companionship was quite another.” Pg103

            “Whatever the future might hold, I was committed to endure whatever God called me to.  And God was going to be with me.  The church, however, was another matter.” pg105

            “For years I had been praying for God to change my feelings and make me straight.  Now I had started praying for God’s will to be done, whatever that way.” pg107

            “Bit by bit, I was learning a painful lesson.  In this Christians-vs.-Gays culture, Christians weren’t such great people to be around if you were gay.  They might lecture you, talk down to you, but there weren’t very likely to make you feel loved.  Quite the opposite.” pg115


Question to consider:

            How do we hear God’s pronouncement in Genesis that it is not good for man to be alone in light of sexual orientation?

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